That Evy!

I took the kids to Holly's work last night for their neighborhood kid haunted house/parade around the nursing home. Let me just say that Holly was dressed up as a scarecrow that had seen better days - seriously disturbing for even me. E and R would not come close to her. :) The residents LOVED seeing the kids all dressed up and even judged a little costume contest. As we were leaving, Evyn was presented with third prize for her Ariel costume. She was a little surprised but thrilled to receive her prize - a green Halloween basket with a disguise kit, some festive socks, a spider on a stick and a few other little goodies. All the way home she kept telling me that she was so happy to have won and that she could not believe it. After we arrived home and we were looking through her prize basket, she says "I cannot believe I won. I did not even know that I *wanted* to win."

Here she is with her prize:

Here's Evyn and Holly: Isn't Holly freaky? (click on the picture for the full effect)



HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Costumes and Pumpkins

I had a great idea yesterday. Since Mondays are no-school days for Evyn and Reed, I thought we would stay home, dress up in costumes for pictures and work out the costume kinks since they are wearing the costumes to school on Wednesday and Evyn says hers is itchy and Reed had never even tried his on. Great! That is what we did. Five minutes of cold air and non-cooperative kids led to two muddy costumes and no great pictures. By the way, in case you cannot tell, Evy is Ariel and Reed is a bat.

Since the costumes went over like a tons of bricks, I thought for sure they would get into the pumpkin carving - goo, seeds and sharp objects would surely be a hit. E and R each picked their pumpkins out and quickly disappeared while I gathered the supplies. Evyn hesitantly joined me in the kitchen while Reed flat out refused. I was thinking this would probably be best anyway - Evyn is the crafty holiday lover of the two of them. Well, as you can see from her expression below, she did not give a shit about the pumpkins either. She left me the moment after this picture was snapped.

So, I spent the next 45 minutes or so in the kitchen all alone, carving out the pumpkin face that Reed had picked out. They thought I did a great job, but Evyn was slightly miffed that I did not continue on to cut her spider design out of her pumpkin. Although I did not let them know, I did actually enjoy myself, but it would have been more fun if someone had at least been there to talk to me while I worked the pumpkin over.

This next one is just for fun. Evy and I created this Ms. Potato Head Witch Pumpkin a few weeks ago:

As some of you know, we planted giant pumpkin seeds in the spring. The packet said that the fruit could reach 400 to 600 pounds. I was a little scared when all of the seeds sprouted and the packet said to space the plants out 15 feet. I did not come close to spacing them that far apart, however, we had lots of baby pumpkins starting out. One of them, I know, would have been at least 100 pounds if our elderly, three-legged dog, Misha, had not started chomping away at the pumpkin vines. She saw to it that we had no *great* pumpkins this year. I think one of our beagles' spirits must have inhabited Misha's body - she is usually not the one to do things like that. Although we did end up with two small pumpkins from our garden that are not quite orange, I was hoping to have a huge pumpkin to carve from garden this year, but that did not quite work out either. See a theme here? Maybe next year......

Low Ri-da!

I received the best gift in the mail yesterday from my friend Kelly. Our relationship goes wayyy back to 1988 - the good old high school days in Dallas, Texas. Needless to say, we were not always good and definitely enjoyed experiencing some, ummm, interesting things and definitely had some super fun times and have some hilarious memories.

So, back to the gift....When I opened this box, I noticed a card on top - a sweet sympathy card. In this card, Kelly made reference to the gift and stated that beneath the gift wrap was a present meant for ME - something to put a smile on my face! She also said the kids would probably enjoy it quite a bit as well. The two little monsters that were trying to rip away at the wrapping as I read the card were promptly informed that "this is a present for Mommy - hands off!" (I honestly can't remember receiving something just for me since my kids have been born, unless you count things that came addressed to me because I had ordered them.)

Kelly also went on to say that she bought this item because as soon as she saw it she thought of me/us and our care-free days, playing after school, or was it more like 'roaming the street of suburban Dallas because we got out of school so early and had too much time on our hands.' Either way, the thing found under the gift wrap was this:
A picture does not do this car justice. When you push the yellow button on the hood, the car lights up underneath and the hydraulics kick in. So, you have purple under glow lights shining below, the front of the vehicle bouncing up and down and the bobblehead dudes in the car bouncing around. That's not all.... the best thing about this car is the fact that it also plays ZZ Top's Lowrider song - really loud. The kids and I laughed and repetitively pushed the yellow button. Reed got so familiar with the song that he was singing part of the words and filling in with La-La-LA. By the time that Holly got home from work, she was a little curious as to why Reed know the lowrider song so well.

After the novelty wore off a bit, I started laughing to myself. Should I be happy or disturbed that this toy reminded someone of me? Of course, I really am happy (or happily disturbed). I love my new car Kelly!

for the record, i have never owned a lowrider, wanted a lowrider, driven a low rider or dated anyone who drove a lowrider and neither has Kelly. :)

This truck what Reed was playing with yesterday. He went rummaging through Evyn's room and then dressed up his truck. Don't cha' love the feathers he stole from Evyn's boa and stuffed into the cab?

Several cars, some jewelry, Kitten, baby Jesus (don't ask), a blue frog and a turtle. These are all things that Evyn has been carrying around in her purse lately.

Say what?

I have been making mental notes lately of the funny things that Evyn and Reed have been saying. Reed's latest phrase suits many difference scenarios, but yesterday when he was being exceptionally sweet and I told him so, he responded with "it's my job." I suspect his latest Bob the Builder fascination is responsible for that one - he uses this phrase at least three times a day. He also has been adding the word 'baby' onto the end of statements. I have heard him say "Rev it up baby" as well as "Faster baby." Hmmm.
Evyn's entertaining statements are a little different. Hers mostly have a bit of teenage sarcasm thrown in. Like when she spotted the bag of candy corn that Grandpa had bought, she said "is that candy corn in that bag, or what"? (complete with hip shift and hair toss) Oh, or how about the "whatever!" said with a flare at just the right (or wrong) time. Love the attitude! She did manage to get me today with something a little more cute, little less teenager-ish. We frequently talk about words that start with certain letters of the alphabet, so today she came to me and said, "you know something else that starts with a P? P-U, that stinks." Yep, that's right!

Day of Remembrance

This is a copy of an email I received today from a friend, exactly one week since we said goodbye to Baby Skylar....the timing could not have been better.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, October 15 is a Day of Remembrance. I prefer to think of it as Child Loss Awareness, because no matter how old they are, they are forever our babies. The death of a child at any age is a devastating and lasting loss to the family who loved that child.

Around the country, people will be lighting candles in memory of their babies who have died--of any cause, at any age. Please join us in lighting a candle on Monday 10/15 at 7:00 pm to remember all babies who have died, as well as their parents who mourn the loss of their precious children forever. Also visit missfoundation.org for support and information on child loss at any age.

If any of you read this in time, I hope you will light a candle for little Skylar as well as Ashley and Gary.

Thank you.

Conferences

I have to say that the idea of a pre-school conference 15 school days into the school year seems a little much, but it is always nice to hear about what goes on in the classroom from the teacher's perspective.....until this round of conferences. This year is the first year that Reed has been in pre-school which means that this was the first conference with one of his teachers, and it did not go as I expected it would. Ms. Duffy started off by asking me how he communicated at home, if he seems to understand basic commands, etc. I was stunned. I was thinking he was charming Ms. Duffy and she probably was loving having him in her class - what a dum-dum I am. I was basing my assumption on the fact that he happily talks about school, willingly goes to school, walks into his class, hangs up his backpack and puts his snack on the tray with minimal help and is happy when I pick him up......these were signs (so I thought) that he had the school groove going on. Not so much.

According to Ms. Duffy, Reed looks at her like he does not understand what she is asking of him much of the time, he will not talk to her and when she gets down on his level and tries to make eye contact while she talks to him, he rolls his eyes back in his head or just closes them altogether. Oh yeah, he also washes his hand obsessively, visits the potty quite a lot and does not seem clear on whether or not he is a boy or a girl. Here's the kicker - there is a kid who cries and says that Reed pushes him. The teacher has not seen any pushing but she has seen Reed touch him, which apparently makes the kid cry. Reed is getting a rise out of him with just a touch and finds this quite entertaining. This is something else Ms. Duffy has to work on - keeping these two separated. She was sweet, gentle and sort of concerned while we discussed these things.

I did set the record straight and explained that he basically cannot help himself - his genes will not allow him to be "normal" (ever!). I told Ms. Duffy that I had somehow given birth to my father - a person who hates the spotlight, prefers to be alone while he piddles/plays, likes to observe and think rather than communicate and share feelings. I also told her that Reed closes his eyes anytime he is over a situation or is being talked to by someone he does not want to hear from - he is an equal opportunity avoider who wishes he could just disappear sometimes. Seems reasonable to me, lol.

As I told my mother this story and accused my father of having powerful genes which will prevent my child from ever being "normal. " She chuckled and basically told me that Reed is not the only one who has been known to act this way in a school setting. Could she be talking about ME? She then proceeded to tell me about a few of the conferences that she attended while I was the student. There were tears involved in one of the stories and then the memories started flooding back to me. 'WE ARE IN TROUBLE' is all I have to say before I go back to blaming my father for Reed's personality traits.

Evy's teacher said the usual things that I am accustomed to hearing - loves art, excited about just about everything she does, is a joy to have in the class, etc. She also explained her teaching philosophy, which I could not agree more with, and her credentials (she taught kindy for 14 years). Good enough!

It will be interesting to hear what the teachers have to say at the spring conference. I am hoping that Reed will at least prove he can communicate by then. I already know what Evyn's teacher will say. :)

Rewind....

Something big and fun has happened in the lively household lately that I have not mentioned. With all that has happened here lately, it seems like a long, long time ago but it was really only two weeks ago. Since my mom's birthday was this past Tuesday, it got me to thinking and reminiscing about our Third Annual Girls' Weekend. The past couple of years, we have been meeting in Dallas but this year the party was in Richmond. This is the weekend that my mom, my aunt Nita and my cousin Diane all get together in one state to celebrate our moms' birthdays. One year we spoiled our moms with a spa package, the next year we all went to tea at La Duni and did not exactly drink tea. This year we drove to Williamsburg and visited a winery there, had lunch and more wine and then hit an outlet mall. Being the animals that we are, we drove back to Richmond and went to happy hour with Holly, Ashley, Gary and Mary Beth (see picture above :) and don't ask me why my mouth is open). We managed to do more shopping, cooking, eating and drinking the rest of the weekend. As always, it was great to reconnect, unwind and get a little wild.

Skylar Marie Crawford

We said good bye to Skylar yesterday. It was incredibly hot but sunny and beautiful. Gary's grandparents' pastor, Mr. Holland, delivered the eulogy. He was also there at the hospital on Friday while Skylar was in surgery to pray with the family. He has such a calm presence about him and did a fantastic job. The outpouring of support has been so touching and powerful. Several of Skylar's nurses came, many friends and coworkers and so much family. The support and love for Ashley and Gary is incredible. They are feeling some serious love right now, at a time when their hearts are aching and empty.

For me, the thing that Skylar brought to my life is hope. Hope for health, hope for life and family, hope for Ashley and Gary and the love and joy that babies bring. I have never in my life been so hopeful as I have these last five and a half weeks. This is the thing that I have to hold onto. It is easy to think that now the hope is gone, has been shattered and will never return. My message from Skylar, I think, is that hope is a gift and can carry you through good times and bad. Hope can keep you strong and grounded. Hope is not lost.

Webster's defines hope in this way: "To want or wish for with a feeling of confident expectation. A wish or desire accompanied by expectation of its fulfillment. Something wished. One that gives cause for hope."

Skylar gives me cause for hope. Hope that Ashley and Gary can make it through this tragedy together, hope that their relationship stay strong and be stronger because Skylar touched it in such a beautiful way, hope that they can be happy again without feeling guilty and hope that they can someday have the family that they both want.

This beautiful little life has taught us so much in such a short time. She has connected two families who were strangers before her arrival and has joined us all together and for that we are thankful.

How can this be?

Five weeks and one day ago our lives were forever changed by a 2lb 4.7 oz miracle. Skylar came into this world fighting and beating the odds. She did incredibly well and quickly won the hearts of her family and care providers. Unfortunately, everything changed this week when she acquired this horrible illness, necrotizing enterocolitis. It spread so incredibly fast that they were forced to do surgery on her today to remove the dead and dying tissues from her intestines. At this point, her breathing was also compromised even though she was on a ventilator. First one little thing and then another. There was still hope.

After surviving her surgery, she was left with a small part of her colon, a small part of her intestines and a 20% chance of survival. This would have created a life of IV fluids, special nutritional problems and a colostomy - all things that could have been dealt with. Her condition post surgery never completely stabilized. A short time later, Ashley and Gary were called back to the NICU. Skylar's heart was failing. How can this happen to such a sweet little life? This is something that I might never understand and something that we will struggle to explain to Evyn and Reed.

After hours of thinking, worrying and wondering, the NICU doctors informed Ash and Gary that Skylar would not survive and suggested that they consider removing life support. We (all the grandparents) were allowed to go see her one last time, for good byes and first and last kisses. I will never forget the feel of her soft head on my lips and the peaceful calm surrounding her tiny body. Our baby left us today, five weeks and one day (almost to the hour) after gracing us with her presence. We will never be the same.

I sincerely thank all of you who have been praying and sending well wishes. Your support means so much. We know we are not alone in this and are thankful to have so many people pulling for Skylar and her devastated parents.

With thanks and love,
Shannon

Skylar update - revised

So, things/life can change so fast, as we have been learning. After my promising update yesterday, Skylar has come down with an infection - abdomen? intestines? not sure which right now but she is now back on "the other side" of the NICU with the really sick babies. She is on a ventilator, has an IV in her head, is pale, swollen and transparent and will have a PICC line placed again very soon. She has a drain that is removing some infection from her gut and is going to have to fight incredibly hard to make it through this. She can do it...she HAS to do it!! Please keep her and Ashley and Gary in your thoughts and prayers. They need them now more than ever.

It's a Skylar update.

Can ya tell she is getting some fat under her skin? I just love this picture - it is like she is trying to hide her feeding tube. I also love the one below of Holly peering into her bassinet. This feeding tube, by the way, is the only "tube" she has left. The oxygen has been discontinued, and she is up to 3 lbs 6 or 7 ozs. I can't remember because it changes everyday, only going up at this point - YAY! She is bottle feeding three times per day now and is still trying to get the hang of the sucking, breathing, swallowing coordination. She is getting better, averaging about 1/3 of an ounce per session. She is heavy enough to be moved up to the PCN, however, she has hit a couple of bumps in the road and has to stay put in NICU for now.

The things of concern are anemia and enlarged ventricles in her brain. First, the anemia is being addressed today via a blood transfusion. A nurse told Ashley that around 90% of the preemies in the NICU have to have one because their systems are not supposed to be making their own red blood cells yet. Apparently, a transfusion or two will fix the problem. As for the enlarged ventricles, they have been following this with head ultrasounds every two weeks. The ultrasound last week showed a "noticeable enlargement" and they called a neurologist in to evaluate her. He ordered another ultrasound which was done yesterday. There was no change, so he has ordered an MRI of her head for tomorrow morning, and we hope this gives him the information he needs to make an assessment. They say not to worry, that this is common for preemies too but when you're talking brain issues/complications, it is not so easy to shrug off. That being said, she is doing wonderfully. She is growing and thriving, is responsive and is totally digging the kangaroo care each night with Ashley and Gary. We cannot wait until all of this is all a distant memory and she is home, safe and healthy. I will update after the MRI results are in. Keep praying, thinking positive thoughts, hoping, whatever you do - Skylar could use it.

Evyn's bowling party.

We had Evyn's party at the bowling alley this year. This was the first birthday party outside of our home, so it was a treat not to have to clean, shop, decorate, entertain and then go around and undo decorations and clean again - worth every penny! We had 11 kids, a few adults and it appeared as though everyone had fun.