Life. It is what it is.

I wish I had more time to write. I've done a miserable job keeping my blog up to date but that is the way it goes. These days, it takes me weeks to even get the pictures I have taken from the camera to the computer. Life has been full. It is too full sometimes. The last (almost) 11 months have been all about responding to unpleasant situations, dealing with the emotions, learning, growing and trying to not let it consume me.


It has not all been bad. My kids are still wonderful, my work is still keeping me plenty busy and my first born came to visit me and meet the rest of the family. We have had a family wedding, babies born, vacations, celebrations, unexpected visitors, natural disasters and weekend getaways. My life has been so full mostly because I have chosen for it to be that way and partly because things just happen sometimes. It is the things that are out of my control that have been all consuming, draining, frustrating. It is all part of the balance of life - birth/death, fun/disappointment, sickness/health, marriage/divorce, unemployment/work/play. It is part of being an adult. It is life.


I might eventually finish trying to update the months of summer but then again, it might not happen. With the past 11 months, I have come to expect the unexpected. It is anyone's guess what the future holds. In the meantime, I will continue to try to keep my blog going.

I'm Naughty, I'm Guilty and My Mom Hates Me, by Ramona

Now that I am finally one year old and old enough to run regularly with my mom, I have been very happy. I love to run, and she is training for a half marathon. I think we are a perfect pair, but I hear her tell her friends how much better Troy is on a leash. My mom gets irritated with me sometimes when I quickly and unexpectedly try to chase a squirrel, or scare a bunny while I am on the leash, but she gets really mad when I act completely crazy when I see another dog. Not all dogs interest me. I really like the little yappy ones because I like to yap right back at them. My mom has been working with me, and I know she sees how smart I am. She also sees how much energy I have and how I just cannot control myself sometimes. She is not always patient with me. She wants to listen to her music and just follow the route, but I like to throw some of my smooth yet unexpected moves into our routine and jerk her arm or maybe give her a slight case of whiplash. I've even tried to take out both of her knees at once. She accuses me of trying to kill her or embarrass her. I'm just trying to have some fun.

Earlier this week, my mom and I were out getting some exercise when I spotted a little dog up ahead. I got really excited and put my foot on the leash, which always forces Mom to stop and get my leg back off of the leash. To keep me from repeating this obnoxious behavior, she held the leash straight up over my head. I could not get my foot into it, but I was able to chew my annoying head collar, and my mom had no idea what I was up to until I took off, leaving the leash on the ground. Mom sprinted after me and yelled ahead to warn the lady that was walking the little dog that I was coming at full steam ahead. When the lady saw me, she was really surprised and so was that little dog of hers. The dog and I started hopping around, sniffing each other. We were like a little white and black tornado of dog action. Before I knew it, we made the lady fall right there on the side of the road. My mom ran up to us right as this happened and I could tell right away that she was M.A.D. I had caused this lady to fall down, all because I just wanted to play. I created more drama that morning than anyone who knows me thought possible.

Mom keeps telling me that I am more trouble than I am worth, and she has gone running without me two times since then, leaving me home pacing and crying. I keep hearing her mumble something about not knowing if she will ever take me out running with her again. She did get me a new metal pinch collar that I definitely will not chew on, if she ever gives me a chance to redeem myself. I really did not mean to hurt anyone. Maybe once the images of the rescue squad coming to pick the injured lady up fade from her brain, she will let me join her for runs again. It might be a while though. I really screwed up this time.

April

All the way back in April, the kids were still going full steam ahead with school. They had spring break the week leading up to Easter. We really did not have anything planned for that week but did decide to drive up to DC on Holly's midweek day off to visit the zoo. We got there and realized we had stupidly assumed the clear, sunny Richmond weather was going to carry over into the D.C. forecast. Once we arrived, it was very cloudy and seemed like it could pour rain at any moment. All of the parking lots at the zoo were full and while we sat in traffic we began discussing alternative plans for our day in the nations capital.

After finally getting out of the zoo parking traffic and after it did rain like crazy, we stumbled upon a parking spot in a neighborhood with no time limit, no meter. We took our chances and carried on with our zoo plan, having to walk a little distance to get back to the zoo. Fortunately, it did not rain one more drop for the rest of the day. Evyn declared the visit to the Reptile Discovery Center the very best day of her life and we got to see the lion cubs out frolicking with their parents. The ape house stunk on many levels - we all agreed on that fact. It ended up being a great family day in DC despite our lack of planning for bad weather.

As our little family tradition has dictated for the past six years, we also hosted our annual Easter Egg Hunt on April 23rd. We expanded the guest list this time to include some of our new friends from the neighborhood. As usual, Holly dressed up like the Easter Bunny and it was a beautiful day for a party at the Lively house. It was also Reagan's first egg hunt that she could really participate in. During the big hunt, she had quite the entourage and it was impossible to photograph her due to her team of admirers. She came dressed in fairy wings and was, by far, the best dressed and cutest.

Reagan even helped me get all of the kids lined up for the countdown to get the potato sack races, egg races and three legged races started. As you can see from the pictures, all the kids are crying and no one had any fun at all. Those poor, poor children.

The day after the Lively Family Egg Hunt was Easter and we headed to our favorite aunt's house for food, family and more fun and another great egg hunt. Next year, I am going around and stealing all of the golden eggs - they had cash inside. That's my kind of egg hunt.

Evyn and I ended the month of April stuffing peat pellets with vegetable seeds for our garden. Actually, they lived in the kitchen window until they were ready to make the big move outside. I followed the directions on the peat pellet container and "hardened" the plants before planting them outside. It's amazing what can happen when you follow the directions. It took me years, but I now can successfully start seeds indoors and plant them outdoors without everything dying thanks to the hardening process - who knew? Reed and Evyn both helped prep the garden soil and really helped speed along the process. Breaking up dirt is hard work, but when you have two eager children and several hoes and shovels, the job gets job super fast. We planted snow peas, cucumbers, lettuce, corn, squash, tomatoes and green beans this year.

Spring and Summer 2011

I said goodbye to winter by confiscating Evyn's little teddy bear calendar and transforming it into our family summer planner. There were things we talked about doing last year and the year before that we did not do because the activities never made it to the calendar. In an attempt to do it all, I marked all of Holly's days off, mapped out the weekends that we could plan some escapes, wrote down when we would have company, birthday parties, as well as our summer family beach getaway and then filled in the rest with camps and activities for the kids. Just like that, I find myself knocking on August's door. We have been busy socializing with friends, having parties, camping, daytripping and swimming. My lack of blogging time always means that life is moving rapidly and my personal time is always lost in the shuffle (and I'm working far too much and not quite getting enough sleep). On the bright side, we are certainly living and doing and experiencing. I cannot complain, except maybe about being tired sometimes.

In an attempt to recap the last few months, I'm going to break it down month-by-month. Here we go.

The Fourth of July

What a weekend we had. It is memorable because of the plans that we did not have. We have not entered a weekend plan-free in months, especially a long holiday weekend. All of the gatherings and things to do were beginning to wear on us both, so we spent some time trying to catch up on eating family dinners, which have become rare, playing in the pool, cooking and watching movies (Evyn and I give 'Secretariat' two thumbs up). We ended the long weekend at the home of some great, new friends, eating incredible food and setting off our own little fireworks display between thunderstorms. I wish life were like one big, long summer weekend.

Three faces

There are three faces, three beautiful and familiar faces. Three faces I could never imagine seeing all at once, in the same state or under the same roof. Two of the faces unaware of the third face but not for long. All three faces sharing a similar story of creation, love. The same womb, the same first mother, birth.

The first face, what an impact, such lessons learned, unforgettable and engrained in my heart along with the other two. It became time face two and face three were made aware of face one. The revelation met with wonder and curiosity for a face that was, at first, only a story from their mother's mouth, a sad song from her heart. It was a story with a connection, a common bond that is almost too complex for young faces to completely grasp.

Things have changed for the three faces. The first one no longer a stranger to the other two. An opportunity to see all three faces together, becoming aquainted, laughing, playing. Dreams do come true. The two young faces understand now, eyes opened to a kind soul, a friendly face, brother. Those eyes, the lips, the smiles. The faces, all together in the same state and under one roof, sharing time and spreading love. Words not able to describe the enormity, all three faces happily interacting and seeing that families come in many forms, have many extensions. Tradition does not always dictate what a family should look like. The three faces, part of a whole of a family pieced together, joined by love but sometimes separated by distance.

The Ultimate Party Favor

Evyn attended a birthday party yesterday for one of her fellow Brownies who also happens to be in her class. The little girl's mother could easily be Bree from Desperate Housewives. I have had a lot of dealings with this girl's mother in the past and have always noticed some of her "Bree-like" characteristics. At this point, I just hope I do not accidentally start calling her Bree to her face because of the party favors that she passed out after her daughter's party. Each girl in attendance received a (probably 600 thread count) pillow case with their initial and a butterfly embroidered on it and a nicely personalized and laminated bookmark. I'm all about not handing out a bag of plastic crap and candy after my kids' birthday parties but never in a million years would an embroidered pillow case cross my mind as being a great idea for a party favor. I'm just amazed that anyone would have time to do something like that. I have to say, it is brilliant and beautiful - well done Bree!

On The Way to School

The other morning, Holly and I were getting the kids ready for school, and they started telling me about a little boy they have been seeing recently who walks to school with his mom. It sounds like he has some developmental issues. They referred to him as "special" and were telling me how cute he is and how he loves to wave at the school buses. He is in his own little world and sounds very happy to be there. Holly told me that they were standing still in the morning school traffic, watching this little boy, and talking about how you should always be kind and helpful to special people and never make fun of them. Holly told them that they should stand up to any mean kids that might be making fun of someone with disabilities and that it was never okay to laugh or participate in the teasing. So, as they were telling me about this kid and the conversation they had in the car on the way to school the other day, Evyn then says in her soft, sweet voice, "if we ever see anyone that is making fun of kid who is special, that would be the perfect time to punch them in the face." For some reason, I cannot see either one of my sweet children punching anyone in the face, except maybe each other.

Evyn, the basketball player turned drama queen

Evyn and Reed recently finished out their very first basketball season. It was a great experience for both. It was so great that they both cried after the end of season celebration. They both had such wonderful coaches and great kids on their teams that I really could not blame them for being upset. This was a very organized and well put together organization and we look forward to next season.

Until then, Evyn is taking Creative Drama, a class that could not be more perfect for our drama queen. She has natural dramatic tendencies that we believe were handed down from our Aunt Suzanne, the original family drama queen. Needless to say, the drama class is a big hit.

The rest of Evyn's spare time is spent learning about reptiles, snakes, amphibians, crocodiles - you name it, she is into it. She sits at the computer watching video clips from Gator Land, Jaws and Claws and anything from National Geographic. Being the little artist that she is, she is always drawing and coloring pictures of all of the creatures she reads about. She then makes poster boards full of information and pictures. Lucky for her, her teacher allows her to bring her projects in to share with the class. She really cannot get enough of the stuff. Here is is, hard at work:

Spring Kick Off, A Day Trip to D.C.

It all started with watching and trying to photograph the Super Moon on Saturday. The kids were very interested in the fact that another Super Moon would not light up our night sky again for another 18 years. Reed will be 24 and Evyn will be 26. That is really hard to imagine and was fun for us to talk about, so we made it a point to watch the moon rise and it did not disappoint.

It was Holly's weekend to work, the weather was decent enough and my weekend work was manageable. Evyn suggested a trip to Washington D.C. so we planned it Saturday evening while they ate dinner. They each chose a museum of interest and agreed that they would both like to see the Washington Monument. I located a parking garage in the vicinity (even printed a coupon from the internet) and we had a blast. My Blackberry's navigation program guided us around the streets of D.C.

A few times I chuckled to myself. I felt like I was traveling with Do.ra and her cousin Dieg.o, except that my Do.ra was actually Reed and Evyn was Dieg.o. Let me explain for those not as familiar with theses two characters. Do.ra spends a whole lot of time going from point A to point B. This always involves a singing/talking map who guides her through different things, passing by other things and eventually getting to her point of interest. Reed was very much interested in how we would get to The Air and Space Museum once we left the Washington Monument. I told him we would walk through the National Mall, pass the Carousel and the sunken sculpture garden and then the museum was across the street on the right. This is what Dora is all about, following the directions that her map gives her. Once she reaches her destination, there is a song - We did it/Lo hicimos! - everyone is happy, end of show. This was totally Reed and I. I guess that makes me the map.

In case you do not know about Die.go, he is an animal rescuer. His missions involve locating an animal and getting it back to its mom/proper habitat and educating his viewers on the different animals he encounters. This is Evyn. She chose to go see the National Aquarium since she is obsessed with reptiles and amphibians right now. It just happened to be reptile day at the National Aquarium, which was a nice surprise for her once we arrived and realized that we were visiting on the perfect day. There was an alligator specialist there giving a talk in front of the gator habitat and Evyn's face was full of awe and amazement, especially when she realized that the gators were going to get a snack, and she was able to witness, in person, a gator eating a cricket. For a girl who spends her spare time at home looking at websites related to gators and lizards and snakes, watching videos (Jaws and Claws on Aminal Planet)and making informative guides and posters, this was h.u.g.e. fun. Although Evyn did not get to directly interact with the gators or return them to their proper habitat like Die.go would, she enjoyed the National Aquarium just as intensely as I imagine Die.go would. She bought a stuffed croc and carried it around D.C. with us, making sure she could see everything that Evyn saw and consistently correcting me if I referred to her croc as a gator. There is a difference, ya know.

Since the Washington Monument was very close to the aquarium, my little explorers picnicked on its grounds. We people watched, enjoyed the spring day and did a lot of walking and learning. They had so much fun that I am sure we will be exploring D.C. again very soon. The spontaneous excursion to Washington D.C. was a success all the way around. Lo Hicimos!


Tired legs.

The Adoption Bear

As my parents clean out their house in preparation for a move, many trinkets from my childhood are surfacing. This is the house that I grew up in. This is where I left some things behind when I left home. There are some things I never took with me because I knew they would always be safe right there in Richardson, Texas where I left them.

My mom recently came to visit and brought a couple of things from my old closet that she knew I wanted to have. One thing was a white teddy bear with blue plaid trim. This bear was not something I slept with every night when I was a little girl. It is not worn from being dragged around because I was a teenager when I got it. It is in the exact condition as when it was given to me 20.5 years ago. It is a bear that came along with some really intense feelings. It is the bear that was given to me by my social worker when she visited me in the hospital when my first was born. It was almost as if she gave me the bear in exchange for my signature on a line stating that the adoption agency had my permission to transport my baby from the hospital to the adoption agency where he would wait for me to permanently relinquish my rights to him and for his adoptive family to come get him.

I hated that teddy bear, but I loved it just as much as I hated it. I wanted that bear and never wanted anything to happen to it. I wanted my baby back even more. I'm sure the bear made his way into my bed and tried to comfort me during that time when I came home from the hospital empty-handed and full of raging emotions, but I really cannot remember anything more than crying and crying. What I do remember is one day putting the bear into a little cubby-like shelf in my closet and deciding that it was the perfect place for him. I saw him every time I opened my closet door. He was always there to remind me, but I did not need his reminding. The hole in me, the emptiness was my reminder. I hated that bear but not enough to toss him out. I just wanted him to live in that cubby, a innocent prisoner.

Now, the bear has found a new life in a new place, much like I did 19 years ago. Several days ago, when my mother pulled him out of her suitcase to show me what she brought, my heart skipped a beat. My bear is no longer a prisoner in the cubby hole in my old closet where I placed him 20 years ago. He is still a reminder of my pain, but he is now being snuggled and loved by an eight year old. Before handing my bear off to my daughter, I made it clear that he was to be kept safe and away from the dogs. She has no idea how much that bear that I loved and hated simultaneously means to me. I hope she keeps him safe. Just like the bear is no longer a prisoner in my childhood closet, I am no longer a prisoner to my pain.

Reed's Advice

Here is a conversation between Reed and Grandpa:

Reed: Grandpa, you want me to tell you how not to be sick?

Grandpa: Sure, how do I do that?

Reed: Stay healthy.

The things doctors say about us

I work as a medical transcriptionist and have been doing this since Evyn was a baby. I work from home and opted for this way of life, which sometimes feels like a form of torture, so I could stay home with my babies. Now that my babies are not babies, I would love to get back out there and use my brain again, interact with people and truly enjoy what I am doing instead of handcuffing myself to my desk day after day, but that is really beside the point.

As a medical transcriptionist, I type up people's medical reports. Whatever the doctor says, I type. Most of the time it is the same old thing, but some of the time I find myself laughing at what these doctors are saying about their patients. Some of the comments are so entertaining that I have a "funny quotes" file where I will save these quotes just for the heck of it. I decided to share my funny quotes file from 2010 with you. There is no identifying information about the doctor or the patient, so I figured it would be okay to do so. Here ya go:

~NOTE: We discussed politics a little bit. He is a die-hard democrat. He left the other practice because they kept showing Fox News on all of their TVs, and he had trouble with the Christians there.

~He denies any problems, though he is really a medical wreck.

~She is high on a fiber diet.

~He is a fellow that likes to, I think, ignore things.

~She is the sweetest gal, but she is built like a bowling ball. She must weight 300 pounds with one extremity.

~Injection therapy is a little bit of a problem with him since he is on Plavix and he really does not want anything to do with putting needles into his penis.

~He is a patient I remember because he talks a lot and he does not listen to what you say but the bottom line is….

Lice Facts

Holly volunteered for Discovery Lab last week. It is sort of like science lab, and all grades cycle through Discovery Lab each month. The kids' school is an open style campus, so when it is cold, they have to wear their coats every time they leave the classroom. Anyway, Holly and the DL teacher were waiting for Reed's class to show up for lab and saw that the kids were approaching the class on a very cold day, and nobody was wearing a coat. When the DL teacher made a comment to Reed's teacher about this, she said that lice is going around the school and said something about coats helping to spread lice and that them not wearing coats was her way to combat the problem (or something like that...Holly did not really catch her reasoning, but that is beside the point).

So about three days later as the kids were getting ready for school and Evyn and I were deciding if it was a barrette or ponytail kind of day, I mentioned that a ponytail was a better option since lice was going around school. She asked what lice was and Reed, using his deep, serious voice, said that he knew and would be happy to fill Evyn in. Reed and I started telling her that it was tiny bugs that live in your hair, it is really contagious, etc. Reed then says, "I know another thing lice can do to you. It makes you not want to wear your coat."

Death and Regret

I try really hard to live life with no regrets. I want to make choices that are smart. I am in charge of my life, my happiness. The choices I make may not always make everyone around me happy. I might find that down the road I may not have made the very best choice, but I always want to be secure in the fact that it was the right choice for me at the time the decision was being made. I believe that I have been mostly successful in this regard. The one event that always brings up regret and even guilt for me is death.

Death also happens to be something that I always have a hard time coming to terms with. It is something that I have not had to deal with that often through my lifetime (the exception being death of our pets over the recent years), having only been to about five funerals. I regret not attending my good friend Mike's funeral ten years ago. Mike was my age and his life was cut short due to a tragic alcohol-related accident. I still wish I had made arrangements to retake my college exams another time and just spent the astronomical fee for a last minute plane ticket to Dallas to be with my friends and say goodbye to the friend that we love and miss to this day. I regret not asking my Hama the story of her life during one of the many times we talked. Learning the more intimate details of my Hama's life at her funeral bothered me. If only she had told me the stories of her independence and courage during a time when women were not supposed to be brave and crazy. I could have given her a high five, and she could have seen my smile. I could have understood where some of my free-spiritedness comes from. I guess, in a way, she did tell me her story. She, herself, wrote the words spoken at her funeral. She planned it, she had the church secretary come visit her and take notes until it was just right. But still....

This week an exceptional lady passed away peacefully in her sleep. She was 88 and was still living independently. We called her Granny East. She was not "our" granny, but she lived next door to my Granny forever. Her daughters and my dad and my aunt sort of grew up together, or at least next door. She and my Granny both became widows, attended the same church and looked out of one another. When my Granny died (the first funeral I ever attended - sobbing mess does not come close to describing my experience) and her house was cleared out, Holly and I bought it, and Ashley, Holly and I set up our little family with all four of our dogs in that tiny little house full of memories. Granny East was the best neighbor. She would come outside and give the dogs little treats. She was not overly annoyed with the chorus of beagles barking next door. She got to know and appreciate their barks - she always knew if it was just a kid riding by on a bike or if there was really something to be concerned about. She also made treats for us and would call periodically and tell us to meet her at the fence because she had something for us. She was such a kind lady, and as I sat at her funeral today, that sense of regret that I work so hard to live without came creeping back, poking me in the ribs, asking... why didn't you at least send her Christmas cards after you moved away? You were just at the baseball field next to her house last spring. You sat and watched the house while recalling happy memories as your children practiced with their baseball teams. You even thought about paying her a surprise visit. She would have been thrilled to meet Evyn and Reed and hear about how grown up Ashley is, but you decided against the surprise because YOU personally don't care for surprise visits. This is precisely why regret is something I choose to avoid living with. Death always has a way of reminding me how living with regret can eat you alive.

One thing I do know. I might regret not keeping in touch better, not trying harder to pay my final respects to a loved one or might even regret not asking the right questions to an elderly friend or family member, but I know that I have treated them with the type of love and respect that I wish to receive. I have never looked back during a funeral and thought that the deceased did not know I loved and respected them. I hope I never do. That right there is a good reason never to hold a grudge. Forgiveness feels so much better.

Today I am thankful to Granny East not only for her kindness and fond memories (not to mention her killer banana pudding) but also for reminding me of the regret that really only troubles me when one passes away. As Holly and I ramp up her father's care, struggle with taking on more of his daily needs and medical issues, we realize that we very well could be caring for a dying man. I know without a doubt that when her father passes, regret is not what I want to feel. The sadness that comes with death is unavoidable, the regret is not. I want to do anything I can to make sure that Grandpa knows how much we love him. If these days ahead are indeed leading us to his end, I want more than ever to be patient even in the most trying situations. I want to be friendly at all times and, most of all, I want us to do whatever it takes to make him feel content and comfortable. Thank you Granny East for the opportunity to realize and think deeply about these things before it is too late.

It only takes a minute to make someone feel special or to tell them you love them or have been thinking about them. If there is anyone in your life you keep randomly thinking about or keep meaning to connect with, I challenge you to do just that. Reach out. You never know if the opportunity will pass you by. Things left unsaid can lead to regret, save yourself the "I wish I had.." and just do it.

Grandpa

Several nights ago, Grandpa started feeling bad. By the time he got to us, he was having trouble breathing and we had to call 911. After what seemed like an eternity, firemen and the rescue squad showed up and saved his life. The next day, I was explaining the chain of events to Evyn and Reed. They slept through the commotion and had no idea that Grandpa had gotten so sick so suddenly.

Reed was really interested in hearing about how the firemen showed up first and shined their huge light up our driveway so the ambulance could easily get up to our house. After asking if the police came and hearing about who came inside first to start helping Grandpa, Reed then said, "well, when did the SWAT team get here"? The mind of a little boy never ceases to amaze and entertain.

Teacher Comments

Evyn has had a cold and today is her first day of school this week. I emailed her teacher this morning about something, and this is the reply I got back. I'm sure I don't have to mention how this makes me feel.

Absolutely! I am so happy to see Evyn. She is such a bright light in our classroom, we've really missed her! I didn't realize what a lightening rod she is for discussion. Her enthusiasm is contagious and she is the type of student who gets everyone excited and thinking about topics. It's been a bit dull around here!


I also got this email from Reed's teacher yesterday:

Please have Reed read up to page 20 in his Novel study book so that he is ready for the small group discussion.

Hope all is well. I am moving him up into a higher reading group next week. He is doing great !!

Complements regarding my kids never get old. It's wonderful that both of them have teachers that appreciate them and connect with them this year. That certainly was not the case last year for poor Reed.

The Sigh of Relief

The moment we have been waiting for, or should I say, the moment Holly has been working for is here. She was offered a job, one that seems perfect for her. It is actually a company she used to work for, so there is already a level of comfort there.

The financial uncertainty is coming to an end. She is no longer having to spend time looking for jobs that are just so hard to come by. Eleven weeks of unemployment with no unemployment benefits taught us both quite a bit. The first thing I realized was that the things they report on the news about job availability are all true. The Sunday paper which used to be spilling over with want ads now consists of maybe two or three pages, and unless you are a nurse or physical therapist, you are pretty much screwed. The jobs that are posted on the internet are also hard to come by. The process is incredibly slow due to the fact that there are so many applicants per position that it takes like a month for folks in human resources to scan through the applications and resumes. You almost have to be sneaky and try to bypass the online application to get your cover letter and resume directly in the inbox of the HR director. It's truly as crazy as they report it to be.

This has been quite a journey for Holly. She was very mistreated when she was let go from her former job. It was handled terribly, and she was pretty wounded. It's not easy to pick yourself back up after you have been stepped/spat on and throw your wounded self into a pathetic job market, but she did. It was not easy to watch. It was not easy for me to be the family cheerleader, spouting off daily affirmations that I was not sure that I even believed. It was not easy to accept money from kind family members. It was not always easy to make financial sacrifices. The job search roller coaster is not a fun ride. Fortunately, just as we were both starting to lose sight of hope, she would get a call and an interview. The timing of this string of events was nothing short of amazing.

I am so proud to say that we made it through this tough time, trying to be happy, trying to stay focused and hopeful, and we were successful most of the time. It was a scary place to be but was not all bad. I was able to take on more work, boosting me to full-time and slightly increasing my pay. Holly was able to pick up my slack and fill in for me up at school, volunteering in my place and getting to know the kids' teachers and seeing how they interact in class. She has also been around to cart her dad around and take care of things at home while I worked. She saw first hand how quickly the day slips away and quickly the bus pulls up to deliver the kids after school and how annoying the dogs are. We bought more generic, opted for homemade versus prepacked foods and learned that generic dishwasher detergent does not clean dishes and is not one of the products to skimp on. We also realized that if we keep the lock on our finances as her income starts rolling in, we will be much better off.


Although her work hours and different and rather inconvenient, we now need after school childcare and big change is imminent, we are so thankful and relieved that the fear is lifting and know that we can adjust to just about anything. Bring it on!

Nerf Wars!

Thanks to our Aunt Suzanne, there is a new way to help pass the time on a cold winter day - shooting each other with dart-shooting bazookas. Lucky for Holly and I, we had some small Ne.rf guns left over from the Christmas before last so that we can join in. Eye protection is a must and dogs and cats are fair game - that's how we roll.

Basketball, week 2

Thursday night practice and Saturday games x2. This is a new sport for both and they both seem to like it a lot. Something clicked today and both kids really started to understand the game, especially Evyn. She is #32 in the picture above - a giant compared to most of the other girls on her team, and she definitely realized this week that she has the ability to jump and reach high enough to block and/or grab the ball and get it down the court to shoot. She earned a grey star for offensive player of the game. She scored about 12 points and rebounded so many times that she was red faced and huffing and puffing.

Reed also played very well. He was a little disappointed that he did not score any points, but he was really catching on and tried really hard to block and defend. He is not as aggressive as many of the boys on his team, but I have no doubt Holly will be working on that with him. He earned the red star for defensive player of the game. I have never paid much attention to basketball but now that Evyn and Reed are both enjoying it so much, I'm a fan and am looking forward to a fun season.

Late night surprise

Since becoming reliably potty trained, Ramona has graduated to sleeping out of her crate at night. She and Troy sleep in the den on their own special, stinky, chewed-on blankets. On a rare occasion, Ramona wakes up and whines at the hall door, wanting to join one of us in bed. This always leads to her being put in her crate, far away from the hall door. Fortunately, this shuts her up and we all sleep soundly the rest of the night.

Last night, Ramona barked a couple of times, wanting to come back with us, so I quickly led her to her crate. Knowing that our most frail and elderly cat likes to sleep in Ramona's crate, I peeked in, only seeing darkness - dark blankets in a dark crate in a dark room looking for a black cat. Of course, in my bleary-eyed state, I was sure the cat was not in there. I closed the crate, locked the door and went back to bed, locking our poor, old, frail black kitty in Ramona's crate WITH Ramona the cat chasing, not-to-be-trusted-around-cats puppy for the remaining 4 hours of darkness. He lived and walked out on his own four feet, no limp, no gasping for his last breath of air. She is not scratched up and there is absolutely no sign of a scuffle. I'd love to know how they interacted, if at all, during their time in such close quarters.

Happy New Year!

2010 was a pretty great year. It ended on a low note but that certainly does not take anything away from the fact that 2010 was exceptional and full of surprises. I must say, though, that the very last day of the year, starting at 12:30 a.m. on December 31st, was full of vomit. Many people would probably be discouraged if they were trying with all of their might to end one year and start another feeling optimistic and hopeful. I actually ended up losing sleep with a sick dog and cleaning up vomit for nearly the last 12 hours of 2010 while trying really hard not to think that vomit was a warning sign of things to come in 2011.

Ramona really loves to go outside, steal things from the recycling bin and chew them up in the back yard. We are assuming that this led to her near death experience. Troy started alerting me during the night. Ramona's hurling must have scared the big fool because he was whining like a two year old as he tried to get far away from Ramona and find peace in our room.


Holly took her to the vet where she received an x-ray that was looking for but did not find an intestinal blockage. She also got an injection to help with the vomiting and some fluids for her dehydration. Almost $400 later, she came home and acted like she was going to die for the rest of the day and then finally turned the corner and perked up a couple of hours before midnight. Thankfully, one of our guests last night (we were trying to prepare for a small party while Ramona was suffering) is a veterinarian and was able to offer his opinion and reassurance. I'd like to formally thank Ramona for forcing us to spend money we should not have. She might need a job to help pay her medical bill, so if anyone has any recycling they would like sorted or broken down, Ramona can totally help you out with that.

As I said, 2010 was a great year, one I will never ever forget. I met my first born and in many ways came full circle with the adoption experience as well as with a particular family relationship that has been pretty non-existent until summer 2010. There were also so many highlights, fun times and priceless memories, I could not begin to list them all. I can only hope that 2011 proves to be another great year of living, learning and loving life.