Effing bees!

Holly and I were catching up on some yard work yesterday...the usual mowing, stick collecting, weed pulling, bush trimming, blowing routine. The weather was lovely and life was grand until I made one wrong move. I, the one who is scared of bees, the one who has wrecked an outdoor meal by freaking out and running away from a tiny little bee all while getting my feet tangled in the table and slinging our dinner and drinks all over the porch, stepped in a freaking nest of yellow jackets while weeding a flower bed.

It did not take me long to realize that I was surrounded by these little buzzing things that scare the crap out of me. What do you think happened next? Of course, I fell out of the flower bed while trying to escape, rolled around a few times and then hauled ass through the yard flapping my hands and yelling "BEES" while my children looked on in horror and Holly with her headphones on was still working away. She finally noticed me and thought that I was running after her because she was cutting on the wrong bush (she is famous for this - definitely another story for another time). Lucky for me, bees don't scare her and she brushed the remaining little stinging menaces off of me. I was stung seven times and it pissed me off and nearly ruined my evening. The End!

I now realize that had this event been caught on video, it could have won us money or could have just made thousands of people across the world laugh hysterically. Holly actually woke up today laughing about it, and she did not even witness the part when I fell. When she sees my swollen leg, arm, neck and face, lucky for her, she stops laughing. I might find more humor as the swelling and itching subside.