Death, Reed's Latest Realization

Reed started asking Holly questions about death or cemeteries or something along those lines yesterday while they were headed to our country landfill to unload some brush from our yard. They started talking about Holly's mother who passed away a few years before Evyn was born and baby Skylar who is buried right next to her. As Holly and Reed talked, he began asking so many questions that she offered to take him by the cemetery on their way home to visit Nanny and Skylar's graves .

One they got there, Reed immediately read his Nanny's name and realized that it was almost the same as Evyn's. Holly had to work to keep her emotions in check but kept her cool so she did not freak poor Reed out. She told him about her mother and how much she missed her and why we named Evyn after her. They talked about Skylar and how it is not always old people who die, that young people can die too and it is terribly sad. He was told that death is part of life and we all will eventually die but probably not for a really long time.

Once they came home and told Evyn and I where they had stopped while they were out, Holly and I started working on our latest landscaping project. Holly went back inside to get something and found Reed who busted out crying. She thought he had hurt himself or something terrible had happened while we were outside until he said though his tears, "I am so sorry that your mom died! I miss her too!" He cried and cried until he passed out on the couch. Such a sensitive, sweet little man....

Ever since, he has been talking a lot about tombstones, graves and dying. He seems like he is experiencing the pain of loosing his grandma that he never met and coming to terms with death as the end result of living. He is upset that he did not get to go to Skylar's funeral. He feels robbed of an opportunity to have known his Nanny. Who can blame him. We all feel robbed in one way or another. Death has a way of doing that. These are tough life lessons for a six year old. I seem to remember a time not too long ago when Evyn was learning to come to terms with death as well. Hard lessons for little people, lessons that parents sometimes struggle to explain.